Resources > Sermon Illustrations All I NEVER Needed to Know I Learned in Hurricane Season Posted by Rev. Jeff Dixon, Senior Equipping Minister, Covenant Community Church on Sep 17, 2004, 09:21

All I NEVER Needed to Know I Learned in Hurricane Season

Here are some lessons about life that many would feel better about if they DIDN'T have to learn them.

1. An oak tree on the ground looks four times bigger than it did standing up.

2. Even after all these years it is still nice to spend time with Col. Mustard in the ballroom with the lead pipe.

3. When house hunting look for closets with lots of leg room.

4. Water from the shower is much colder than water from the kitchen sink---
and tastes just as bad.

5. AA, C and D are the only alphabet we need ( batteries )

6. The four-way stop is still an ingenious reflection of civility.

7. Radio can be the best way to watch television.

8. Chain-saw wielding men are nothing to be afraid of.

9. SUV's are the best makeshift tents on the market.

10. You can use your washing machine as a cooler.

11. It's your God given right to sit on your back porch and eat Chinese takeout by candlelight in your underwear.

12. We shouldn't complain about "useless" tools in the garage-- we actually DO need a generator

13. You can't spell "priceless" without I-C-E.

14. Downed power lines make excellent security systems.

15. Lake Ned can generate waves.

16. Gasoline is a value at any price

17. Cell phones: Breaking up isn't hard to do.

18. The life blood of any disaster recovery is COFFEE

19. The need for your dog to go out and take care of business is inversely proportional to the severity of the storm.

20. Candlelight is better than Botox--- it takes years off your appearance.

21. Air Conditioning: BEST. INVENTION. EVER.

22. Water is a comfort food. But 3-day-old Cheetos are too.

23. Shadow animals on the wall---still fun.

24. No matter how hard the wind blows, roadside campaign signs will survive.

25. You should never admit to having power at your house in the presence of co- workers or neighbors who do not.

26. There's a plus to having NOTHING in the refrigerator.

27. Getting through the day should be an Olympic event.

28. The movie theater can be a most pleasant place, even if the feature is Alien vs. Predator

29. Somebody's got it worse.

30. Somebody's got it better. Obviously, they are getting preferential treatment.